Whistleblowing has consequences, no matter how strong you are mentally or physically, this will take its toll on you.
I was a former Royal Marines Reservist whilst also in the police and enjoyed endurance events, just before I became ill as a result of the relentless vendetta against me by Hampshire Constabulary I had taken part in a foot race in Jordan.
Prior to that I had taken part in various challenges including completing what is considered as the toughest footrace on earth running for 156 miles through the Sahara desert.
When I was not on duty in the police I was a volunteer on the inshore lifeboat in Cowes on
the Isle of Wight prior to the station being taken over by the RNLI.
I was known for helping people whatever their problems maybe and still do so to this day.
The force was unable to knock the “caring” out of me. My wife is also the same, she had been a nurse and continues to help people to this day despite our problems with the Constabulary which began when we tried to help victims of crime.
My hobbies included sailing, walking, cooking and I was also a close-up magician which I had done for many years.
Over night it was as though a light had been switched off and I could do no more than sit in an armchair and stare at the wall having succumbed to severe depression caused by Hampshire Constabulary.
My weight increased by 5 stone due to comfort eating, stress affects people in different ways.
I find it hypocritcal to this day that Hampshire constabulary and the police service pushes mental health when I have seen so may officers destroyed and some taking their own lives.
I found that there was no real help for whistleblowers, as soon as you were well enough to return to work the force would dash any improvement that you made by its conduct, arrogance and retaliation because you had broken the blue code of silence.
In my case a DCI made a witness statement supporting me saying that he was surprised that I was still alive, I believe the intention of Hampshire constabulary was for me to take my own life.
We all deal with such situations in different ways and I will document the ways that I found of coping and trying to along the way.